We only work in the sales arena so we refer to onboarding as onramping since salespeople need to ramp up to revenue (production) during their initial employment.  That being said, CareerBuilder.com provides some excellent rules to live by when bringing a new employee on board (my editing).

    1. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy employee.
    2. Thou shalt give a written plan of employee objectives and responsibilities. A written plan detailing objectives, strategy and expectations of future results helps diminish any confusion about a new employee’s job functions and instead opens up the floor to discuss concerns or new opportunities.
    3. Thou shalt give thy employ thy undivided attention.
    4. Thou shalt have relevant paperwork ready 
    5. Thou shalt introduce thy employee to thy neighbors. 
    6. Thou shall set up thy employee’s workstation. An empty workstation is to a new employee what an unkempt home is to a houseguest. Before the employee arrives on day one, stock his or her workstation with everything from paper and pens to keys and, if possible, business cards. Make sure the phone and computer, complete with voicemail and e-mail accounts, are set up. Leave a copy of an organizational chart, staff list, and phone directory on the new hire’s desk.
    7. Thou shalt schedule one-on-one time
    8. Thou shalt create a balance.
    9. Thou shalt clarify the company culture.
    10. Thou shalt think beyond the first few days. After 90 days, request formal feedback on the new hire’s performance from his or her supervisor, and be sure to solicit feedback from the employee as well. Take this opportunity to address any issues of concern as well as note any accomplishments so that all parties are confident that the new hire is poised for success in his or her role.

We have a sales manager we know who took a job with a new company and showed up on his first day to find there was no office set up for him.  Instead, they told him to pick a cubicle.  All of the cubicles had junk stored in them so he had to move the junk out on his first day to create a space for himself.

As a sales manager.

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