If you’ve read The Hire Sense for any length of time, you know one of my favorite pastimes is reading cover letters/emails. There really are some bemusing, befuddling and bewildering approaches. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw this abcnews.com article – ‘Cover Letters from Hell’ Expose Poor Quality of College Grads.
Ok, I’m all over that article and I have found my new hero – Bob Killian. And I thought I had some good examples but this guy is the king. This link takes you directly to the cover letter section of his website. It is excellent and amusing – I even had to subscribe to his newsletter.
His introduction to the collection is worth the visit alone:
Below are a couple dozen examples gleaned from these efforts, to amaze and horrify you. It’s an ever-changing gallery of mangled syntax and/or obtuseness, since a new monstrosity arrives about weekly.
I’m laughing out loud as I write this post. I would copy the web page here but there are probably laws against that move. Please let me indulge you with a couple of my favorites:
“Another reason [you should hire me is] your web site is very unfriendly and may sway some clients into not working with you. People use websites of companies such as yours for research and your website thinks that it is witty, but comes off very dull and cheezy.”
And then there is this beauty:
“… But that’s the past. I’ve given them a year of my life in a minimum security work camp and I’m nearing work release status where I’ll be for the next 15 months or so… I need to connect with open-minded people like myself! My crime was a ‘non-violent, victimless’ one. I’m hoping this letter is reaching people who have or do smoke weed …”
You know, these examples provide the evidence for why our country needs to expand the No Child Left Behind program.