Everything is so serious these days that it is nice to find some levity.  This is good – a company recently tracked aspects of 75,000 tech support calls.  They have some gender-related data (emphasis mine):

Male callers: 64% didn’t bother to read the instruction manual before calling for help.

Female callers: 24% didn’t bother to read the instruction manual before calling for help.

Male callers: 12% just needed to plug in their gear to “resolve their issue”.

Female callers: 7% ditto!

Female callers stayed on the phone with tech support 32% longer than male callers.

66% of tech support operators said they preferred dealing with female clients, anyway.

So according to the first point, 36% of guys did read the instructions?  I am embarrassed that so many did.  Time to check their man cards.

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Here is a sales job posting I clicked on this morning:

Regional Account Executive- Minneapolis

About the Job

 

 

 

That is it – the rest is a scrollable white page.  It gets better – the hiring company is in computer software.

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Honestly, I came across this title to a sales ad:

I make more money in a month than you make all year

Fantastic!  That is one humble title.  As you can imagine, the ad is written in a casual, confrontational style to challenge the most aggressive sales candidates.

I wouldn’t write an ad this way, but true confession – I got a kick out of it.

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I’m on hold this past week with my website hosting company with some questions about our account.  I have a somewhat complex question/request for them which requires the customer service rep to put me on hold to obviously research it.

I don’t mind being put on hold as I am ever hopeful they come back with the solution.  However, I was a bit shocked by the hold music when she put me on hold the first time.

The song was Another One Bites the Dust.

I kept waiting for the dial tone as surely she was preparing to hang up on me.  I was relieved when she returned.  I explained my question further at which point I was put on hold a second time.

I found myself thrust into the middle of Puff the Magic Dragon.

How bizarre.  Oh, and I didn’t get my question solved.

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This Forbes story is probably more therapeutic than anything else – the gist of it is that celebrities make colossal business mistakes.  One thing I have always wondered about, where is the anger towards celebrity pay?  I hear of the anger regarding CEO compensation, but never so much as a whisper of discontent regarding celebrity compensation.

At any rate, I had completely forgotten about this stunning blunder:

The award for biggest entrepreneurial swing-and-miss might go to actress Kim Basinger. Smoldering in films such as 9 1/2 Weeks, Batman, L.A. Confidential and I Dreamed Of Africa, Basinger bombed on a grand scale in 1990 when she sunk $20 million into buying the entire town of Braselton, Ga.

Basinger’s vision: to turn the small town of 500 residents, 50 miles northeast of Atlanta, into a tourist attraction, with a movie studio and a film festival. In one fell swoop, the blonde bombshell became landlady of Braselton’s bank, post office, supermarket, a number of retail stores, historic structures, more than two dozen homes and an industrial park–nearly 1,800 acres in all.

Three years later Basinger filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection after losing an $8.1 million lawsuit to Main Line Pictures for backing out of a verbal agreement to star in the film dud Boxing Helena. As for Braselton, she ended up selling it–for a mere $1 million.

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Funny article from Saleshq.com:

While working my way through college, I sold vacuum cleaners. Trying to close a sales call, I asked the prospects if I could use their phone to call my boss and see if I could get them a better price. Of course, I already knew what I could sell it for. So instead of dialing the whole number and bothering the boss, I only dialed six numbers. After a few minutes of acting like I was talking to my boss, the phone started making that really loud beeping noise that lets you know the phone is off the hook. They asked me to leave.

R-O-O-K-I-E.  I think it is amusing to see these old moves in practice…though it is a bit scary to think they are still going on today.

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Chances are if urination is involved, you will lose your job.  From SalesHQ.com’s article 15 Stupidest Ways to Lose Your Job:

When April 15 rolls around, urinating on the IRS might be on top of your to do list. But be careful—like audits, the IRS does not take peeing lying down. As first reported by The Smoking Gun, an IRS employee relieved himself in the freight elevator “on numerous occasions.” After the signature scent was noticed, a federal agent installed a surveillance camera and caught the urinator in the act.

Did the culprit have a bladder problem? No, he said he “did this because he felt he could get away with it.” If you think you can get away with something, make sure you actually can. The contract employee not only lost his job but got slapped with a $4,600 cleaning bill and a felony charge for damaging government property that carries a maximum ten year sentence.

I wish I would have known of this one around April 15.

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The epitome of optimism – a headline from abcnews.com:

Has the Recession Finally Ended?

I guess you could characterize this as “talking up” the economy.  Here is one paragraph from the article that made me laugh (emphasis mine):

Today also brought some positive news from the much-battered retail sector. For the first time in three months, retail sales in May rose, by 0.5 percent, according to the Commerce Department. The sales were pushed higher by increased demand for new cars and sales at gas stations. It was the largest increase since sales rose 1.7 percent in January following six straight monthly declines. While this is good news, part of the jump can be attributed to a recent spike in gas prices which isn’t helping average consumers.

“Sales at gas stations” is clearly the spike in prices as the last sentence states.  That would actually be working against consumers and the economy.  A .5% increase could clearly be nothing more than a spike in gas prices, couldn’t it?

My discussions with candidates has been fairly consistent – the economy is brutal and another spike in gas prices like last year would be a tremendous blow.  Telecommuting jobs will be in even higher demand if a significant gas price increase occurs.

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This quote is from the JustSell.com daily email.  I thought it was excellent:

“Mediocre people have an answer for everything and are astonished at nothing.”

Eugene Delacroix (1798-1863)
French Artist

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Short background here is that Delta bought Northwest Airlines and now I am in the process of switching my frequent flyer program to Delta.  Being a free miles junkie, I completed Delta’s online travel profile.  I thought it was simple background info/preferences for me.  At the end of the 15 questions I receive this information:

Speed Racer

Comfort Seeker

Opportunist

Grand Planner

YOU TRAVEL IN THE FAST LANE, WITH MAXIMUM EFFICIENCY.

As one of those rare, special people who gets things done quicker when there’s more to do, you prioritize your time to your advantage. You always find a way to be more efficient, and you never met an obstacle you couldn’t circumnavigate. With such a need to get things done, anything that keeps your runways clear for takeoff is a benefit indeed!

Your mantra is SAVE TIME, BE EFFICIENT, and BE PRODUCTIVE.

Good grief – even Delta is competition in the assessment business!  I appreciate their “Speed Racer” description.  I was expecting something along the lines of “spaz” since it would have been more accurate.

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