I have a weakness for poorly-written cover letters and have enjoyed Cover Letters From Hell from Killian & Co. Their latest newsletter has a new twist – candidate responses to rejection letters. Ah, new territory to expand my enjoyment. This is the one that had me rolling:
Dear Madam,
Here in the body and mind of [Name], we express ourselves thoroughly and as accurately as possible. We highly regard integrity and honesty and as such, only pursue those actions that are aligned with those qualities. Thus, we have found some inconsistencies in your response and we feel compelled to respond…
You say that you only ‘are able to’ pursue professional, senior talent with a high level of skill and management experience…
Does that sound like someone who needs help finding a job? Are you insane?
Yeah, let me go work my way up and become a high-powered executive professional, then I’ll come to your no-name company and see if you can’t find me some work.