More Bad Ad Writing

Just saw this title to a sales position ad (emphasis mine): Regional Sales Manager Job “Job”…seriously?  Don’t do this in your ads.  Salespeople, especially young salespeople, are looking for opportunities, careers, even a path.  If you promote the position as a job, you will instantly limit the perspective, or upside, of the position.

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Don’t Write Ads Like This

I’m browsing through job postings in a specific sales category and I read this sentence in a fairly high-level position: The tols are here for you to make a diference in our busines and your carer. The modern day tools available to writers for proofing your text are abundant.  The entire ad has a similar “minimalist” use of double letters.  It is rather odd, isn’t it?

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Approaching Via The Ad

I recently read this line in an approach email/ad for a sales position: Do you have open availability that includes holidays, days, nights and weekends? To be honest, it appears to be a retail position, but my word, I would not lead with that fact in an ad.  Think of that sentence…what times are not covered by that statement?  I would not recommend ever making a job appear to be a 24/7 proposition.

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Spelling Does NOT Matter

Here is a new title from a sales employment ad: Accont Exceutive Honestly, if I could spike my coffee right now I would.  Whatever price this medical company paid for the ad has been wasted before a single click.

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Too Many Gerunds

From a sales ad I just read (my editing): Experience in  building, hiring from scratching, coaching, training and developing the RAMs in the sale of _________ products. Perhaps this is some new interviewing technique – “If you could scratch one place on your body, what would that place be?”

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Throw Away Lines

I read a sales ad today that started with this line: Are you a career-minded salesperson… What does that mean?  I bet if I asked 10 people I would get 10 different answers.  I call sentences like this “throw away lines” because they do nothing for the ad.  It is vitally important when writing ads to only include sentences that describe the position and the type of person who will excel within it. Anything else is wasted space.

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Geography Matters

I just read an ad for a mid-level sales position.  Interesting part was the location listed in the ad: Milwaukie, WI The hiring company is based in Fresno, CA which is, I suppose, in relative proximity to Milwaukie, OR.  However, the Wisconsin town of the same name is spelled “Milwaukee.” In hiring, details matter. (And wouldn’t you think Monster would have a checker of some form for these errors?)

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A Steakhouse Ad

From a sales employment ad I read this morning: Proven, world-class technology with plenty of sizzle I can’t decide if I like that last turn of phrase in an ad or not.  For software sales, it sounds positive.  For slick-talking salespeople, it sounds like a negative stereotype.  I would recommend leaving the “sizzle” for steak.

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