{"id":382,"date":"2006-10-20T09:54:48","date_gmt":"2006-10-20T14:54:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/?p=382"},"modified":"2006-10-20T21:55:00","modified_gmt":"2006-10-21T02:55:00","slug":"the-cover-letter-king","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/2006\/10\/the-cover-letter-king\/","title":{"rendered":"The Cover Letter King"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If you&#8217;ve read <em>The Hire Sense<\/em> for any length of time, you know one of my favorite pastimes is reading cover letters\/emails. There really are some bemusing, befuddling and bewildering approaches. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw this abcnews.com article &#8211; <a href=\"http:\/\/abcnews.go.com\/Business\/CareerManagement\/story?id=2582776&#038;page=1&#038;CMP=OTC-RSSFeeds0312\" target=\"_blank\">&#8216;Cover Letters from Hell&#8217; Expose Poor Quality of College Grads<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>Ok, I&#8217;m all over that article and I have found my new hero &#8211; Bob Killian. And I thought <em>I<\/em> had some good examples but this guy is the king. <a href=\"http:\/\/www.killianadvertising.com\/coverletters.html\" target=\"_blank\">This link<\/a> takes you directly to the cover letter section of his website. It is excellent and amusing &#8211; I even had to subscribe to his newsletter.<\/p>\n<p>His introduction to the collection is worth the visit alone:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Below are a couple dozen examples gleaned from these efforts, to amaze and horrify you. It&#8217;s an ever-changing gallery of mangled syntax and\/or obtuseness, since a new monstrosity arrives about weekly. <\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>I&#8217;m laughing out loud as I write this post. I would copy the web page here but there are probably laws against that move. Please let me indulge you with a couple of my favorites:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;Another reason [you should hire me is] your web site is very unfriendly and may sway some clients into not working with you. People use websites of companies such as yours for research and your website thinks that it is witty, but comes off very dull and cheezy.&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>And then there is this beauty:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>&#8220;&#8230; But that&#8217;s the past. I&#8217;ve given them a year of my life in a minimum security work camp and I&#8217;m nearing work release status where I&#8217;ll be for the next 15 months or so&#8230; I need to connect with open-minded people like myself! My crime was a &#8216;non-violent, victimless&#8217; one. I&#8217;m hoping this letter is reaching people who have or do smoke weed &#8230;&#8221;<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>You know, these examples provide the evidence for why our country needs to expand the No Child Left Behind program.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If you&#8217;ve read The Hire Sense for any length of time, you know one of my favorite pastimes is reading cover letters\/emails. There really are some bemusing, befuddling and bewildering approaches. So you can imagine my surprise when I saw this abcnews.com article &#8211; &#8216;Cover Letters from Hell&#8217; Expose Poor Quality of College Grads. Ok, I&#8217;m all over that article and I have found my new hero &#8211; Bob Killian. And I thought I had some good examples but this guy is the king. This link takes you directly to the cover letter section of his website. It is excellent and amusing &#8211; I even had to subscribe to his&hellip; <a class=\"read-more\" href=\"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/2006\/10\/the-cover-letter-king\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"bgseo_title":"","bgseo_description":"","bgseo_robots_index":"","bgseo_robots_follow":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[14,15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-382","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-communication","category-sourcing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p5Oho-6a","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":477,"url":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/2006\/12\/email-cover-letter-advice\/","url_meta":{"origin":382,"position":0},"title":"Email Cover Letter Advice","author":"Derrick Moe","date":"December 4, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"BusinessWeek.com with an article written for me - How to Write an E-Mail Cover Letter. If you have read The Hire Sense for some time, you know I have a weakness for poorly-worded cover letters. This quick Q&A article provides a good intro answer: Skip the cover-letter attachment, and turn\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Resumes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Resumes","link":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/category\/hiring\/resumes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1175,"url":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/2007\/09\/the-automatic-cover-letter\/","url_meta":{"origin":382,"position":1},"title":"The Automatic Cover Letter","author":"Derrick Moe","date":"September 11, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"From my junk mail: Stop writing cover letters the hard way. _____________ helps you quickly and easily crank out a killer cover letter that is guaranteed-to keep your phone ringing. With just a click-of-a-button, fill in the blanks and in just 3.5 minutes out pops a brilliantly worded and perfectly\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Resumes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Resumes","link":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/category\/hiring\/resumes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1673,"url":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/2008\/07\/dictionaries-save-cover-letters\/","url_meta":{"origin":382,"position":2},"title":"Dictionaries Save Cover Letters","author":"Derrick Moe","date":"July 23, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"Killian's Cover Letters from Hell are out again with some highly entertaining fare.\u00a0 This one does it for me: I\u2019m looking for work because even though my company was profitable last year, this year they are expecting a large defecate.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Anecdotes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Anecdotes","link":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/category\/hiring\/anecdotes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1526,"url":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/2008\/04\/cover-letter-comedy\/","url_meta":{"origin":382,"position":3},"title":"Cover Letter Comedy","author":"Derrick Moe","date":"April 22, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"The Killian Newsletter is out which means another fabulous installment of Cover Letters From Hell.\u00a0 This edition features some dandies: ...take this full of life, creative, fun, hardworking, quick learner, hands-on, intelligent, good looking, individually and help him by giving him the best possible experience, so he can continue the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Anecdotes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Anecdotes","link":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/category\/hiring\/anecdotes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2565,"url":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/2015\/04\/the-lost-art-of-writing\/","url_meta":{"origin":382,"position":4},"title":"The Lost Art Of Writing","author":"Derrick Moe","date":"April 21, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"No doubt we live in a technology-based world driven by expedited activities, from instant text messages to YouTube videos on demand.\u00a0 Communication moves fast. One area I believe it hurts is applying for sales positions.\u00a0 I realize an ever-increasing amount of opportunities are found, shared and contacted through LinkedIn, but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Communication&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Communication","link":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/category\/communication\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1691,"url":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/2008\/08\/watch-the-writing\/","url_meta":{"origin":382,"position":5},"title":"Watch The Writing","author":"Derrick Moe","date":"August 7, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"I would not hire a single salesperson without first seeing a writing sample of some sort from them.\u00a0 The information age has made writing a priority skill in communicating with prospects. This cover letter sentence makes me lose my faith in proofreading: I relocated down south due to my wifes\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Anecdotes&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Anecdotes","link":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/category\/hiring\/anecdotes\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/382","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=382"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/382\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=382"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=382"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/selectmetrix.com\/blogs\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=382"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}<!-- WP Super Cache is installed but broken. 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