Killian’s Cover Letters from Hell are out again with some highly entertaining fare. This one does it for me: I’m looking for work because even though my company was profitable last year, this year they are expecting a large defecate.
Continue ReadingI May Know This Person
From the title of a resume posted online: receptionist,homemaker,health aide,sales ass,youth counselor,or daycare aide I know I have worked with many a sales ass. In the resume, this person lists a job from years ago in which they worked the retail cash register at a drug store. I particularly enjoyed their description of that work: SALES ASSOCIATE:RECEIVE CASH FROM CUSTOMRES IN PAYMENT FOR GOODS.PROCESS SALES TRANSCATIONS AND ISSUE RECEIPTS. “Issue receipts” just kills me.
Continue ReadingThe Hot Dog/Bun Mystery Solved
From JustSell.com: Have you ever wondered why hot dogs typically come 10 to the package, while the buns come in batches of eight? While some suspect that the disparity is a marketing tool meant to increase sales, hot dog historians point to a time when customers purchased meat from a butcher and buns from a baker. Meat was sold by the pound, with the typical frank weighing one–tenth of a pound; 10 franks came in the pound package. But pan sizes dictated that buns be baked in multiples of four. (The eight–bun pan is still the most common pan size.) Enjoy the Fourth and eat a dog or two!
Continue ReadingPowerPoint Singalong
That is a new phrase for me and a humorous one to start the long, holiday weekend. From JustSell.com’s daily newsletter: Familiar with the term “PowerPoint singalong”? According to buzzwhack.com, a PowerPoint singalong is a presentation read from the slides without comments or asides of any kind. (Monotone optional, but not required.) There’s no telling whether this buzzword has staying power, but it does raise an important point… When making your next sales presentation, make sure you engage with your audience. Prepare so that you don’t have to read off of your slides and you’re comfortable answering questions and comments. Have a wonderful Independence Day!
Continue ReadingRun The Spell Check
This job summary is from a sales ad for a FORTUNE 500 company: Job Summary Responsible for developing and maintaining customer relationships within the transportatin industry. Is that unbelievable? The irony here is that this company probably holds candidate resumes to a higher standard than their own ad. One other thing – a one line job summary is probably too short. I like quick-read ads, but there should be some specificity to the summary. And no spelling errors.
Continue ReadingCoffee Reduces Stress
Here is some wonderful news about coffee to start your Monday. From Yahoo Health: Just sniffing that first hot cup of coffee in the morning may help ease some stresses you might be feeling, a South Korean trial indicates. When rats inhaled the aroma of roasted coffee beans, a number of genes were activated, including some that produce proteins with healthful antioxidant activity, the researchers reported. “The meaning of it is not totally clear yet,” said Dr. Peter R. Martin, director of the Institute of Coffee Studies at Vanderbilt University. “What it does show is that coffee smells do change the brain to some degree, and it behooves us to… Read More
Continue ReadingCustomer Service – Dex Style
Unbelievable. I sent an email NINE days ago to Dex, the phone book company. They have an old listing for our business including a phone number and address we haven’t had for over 3 years. I was just informed of this fact by a customer who was trying to reach us from a coffee shop when he didn’t have his cell phone with him. The response from the Dex rep says much about customer service in this particular market segment. My initial email through their website form simply stated they had the wrong information for our company and I provided the correct information. The response I received: Thank you for… Read More
Continue ReadingMore Job Interview Bombs
CNNMoney.com offers up the latest story about this Springtime topic (must be all of the college grads hitting the interview circuit that gets these stories started). There are some beauties in here: “One job applicant came in for his interview with a cockatoo on his shoulder.” “We had one person who walked out of an interview straight into a glass door. The glass shattered.” “The candidate got his companies confused and repeatedly mentioned the strengths of a competing firm, thinking that was who he was interviewing with.” “A candidate fell asleep during the interview.” Fell asleep? I’m guessing the only way that happens is if the interviewer is doing all… Read More
Continue ReadingThe Weekend Ad Report
Remember when the Sunday paper was the big employment section? It wasn’t that long ago. I don’t remember posting any job ads on a different day – it was simply call in your ad by the Thursday deadline and approve the proof you received via fax (including the cryptic shorthand used to save space/lines). That whole process is probably foreign to Gen Y…and that’s a good thing. Anyway, I was perusing the postings this weekend and found this title: Sales Represenitive The title simply cannot have errors. None. Period. Also on titles, there is no simpler clue to these pyramid deals than to see a long description for a title.… Read More
Continue ReadingHow Not To Save An Interview
This article from abcnews.com starts off with a terrific interview anecdote (emphasis mine): John-Paul Lee, CEO of Tavalon Tea, a premium tea company based in New York, recently interviewed a job candidate he’s not likely to forget. “The first two minutes were great,” Lee says of the recent MBA grad. Then Lee asked the candidate who he believed Tavalon’s biggest competitors were. To which the candidate replied, “I think Tavalon Tea is a formidable one.” “I assumed he was nervous and had blurted out the wrong company,” Lee says, “so I played along and asked him, ‘Why?’” The candidate’s answer? “I don’t think they have the right management in place.… Read More
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