The latest update to Cover Letters From Hell is out and it is quite entertaining. The cover letter errors will make you laugh along with the snarky commentary from Killian’s people.

One of my personal favorites this time (Killian’s comments in italics):

“i am a freeelance writer and have worked with a magazine for almost three years before. i came across ur advertisement in [name of magazine]. if you wish i can send you my cv along with some sample writings.”

“To seek career in a dynamic & well Organization which offer Good oppertunities & challenging revelant exposure, self enchancement & growth…”

While we have no idea what this means, we’re pretty sure “self-enchancement” is illegal in at least twelve states, even in the privacy of your own oppertunity.

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I was reading through the latest Herman Trend Report this morning about the new souped up cubicles that are being developed by IBM and Steelcase.  Yes, it sounds similar to customizing a Yugo, but there actually are some interesting ideas geared towards Millennial workers.

For instance:

Two new technologies facilitate people working in collaboration: “MyTeam” uses sensor data to connect team members and to broadcast availability awareness. One touch opens the preferred communication channel, whether it is e-mail, phone, or instant message. Their Everywhere Displays projector transforms any surface into a touch-screen.

Rather than gathering around a monitor, participants working together may project their work onto tables or walls. Users may interact with the system through simple gestures, detected through vision technology.

The thought of any surface becoming a touch-screen is amazing.  Anyway, I enjoyed this paragraph the most:

Further adding to the experience, the BlueSpace occupant will have unprecedented control over his/her physical environment. The BlueScreen information panel provides touch-screen control of the lighting and temperature in the workspace. In addition, the space can sense and automatically adjust the environment to meet the physical preferences linked to identification badge.

I have worked in numerous offices where wars have broken out over the thermostat.  One company, in particular, had to install those goofy looking, lockable plastic covers over the thermostat and tell everyone that the maintenance manager was in charge of the setting.  Having a cube that adjusts the temp for the individual seems like an excellent idea.

On a marketing note, many of us are old enough to remember the phrase “blue screen of death” from the earlier versions of Windows.  Honestly, it wasn’t that long ago.  I’m chuckling at the “BlueScreen” information panel.  My Pavlovian reaction to a blue screen is to launch expletives and start banging the keyboard.  Apparently Gen Y hasn’t experienced such training.

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It’s me.  Well, I didn’t make the list, but I think I could have won it (Lee will confirm it).  But this article in CareerJournal.com reports that SnagAJob.com went with their own list and came up with these answers:

According to the 7,000 people who responded to the poll last month, the “slacker” and the “kiss-up” tied for the most annoying person to work with. Each type was selected as most annoying by 32.6% of those who responded to the one-question survey.

…

Third on the list of annoying co-workers was the “gossip hound,” which 18.4% said was the most annoying co-worker. The “loud talker” was deemed most annoying by 11.8% of participants and the “hypochondriac” was ranked worst by 4.6%.

Me, I’d have to agree with the slacker vote.

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I have a weakness for lists -they make good link bait, too.  CNNMoney.com offers up 10 dumbest job-interview moves.  It is a quick, entertaining read.

A sample:

The job hunter…

5. “… drafted a press release announcing that we had hired him.”

7. “… delivered his entire cover letter in the form of a rap song.”

9. “…brought his mother to the interview and let her do all the talking.”

My mouth is still agape after reading number 9.

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Honestly, I thought this was a joke – Is that your phone or your imagination? From the article:

Many mobile phone addicts and BlackBerry junkies report feeling vibrations when there are none, or feeling as if they’re wearing a cell phone when they’re not.

…

Research in the area is scant, but theories abound about the phenomenon, which has been termed “ringxiety” or “fauxcellarm.”

The article is obviously a bit tongue-in-cheek and there are some good lines in it including this one:

He also claims to “pre-feel” a new message or call. “I’ll feel it, look at it. It’s not vibrating. Then it starts vibrating,” he said. “I am one with my BlackBerry.”

The guy’s name is Yoda.

Ok, maybe not.

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Ok, I have a weakness for these types of surveys.  From CareerBuilder:

“Workplace Taboos” is a new CareerBuilder.com survey, conducted by Harris Interactive of more than 5,700 workers. The most common workplace taboos that workers admitted to taking part in include:

1. Falling asleep at work (45 percent)
2. Kissing a co-worker (39 percent)
3. Stealing from the office (22 percent)
4. Spreading a rumor about a co-worker (22 percent)
5. Consuming alcoholic beverages while on the job (21 percent)
6. Snooping after hours (18 percent)
7. Lying about an academic background (4 percent)
8. Taking credit for someone else’s work (2 percent)

I laughed at number 1 since I used to work at a company where the customer service manager would fall asleep at his desk every afternoon.  He had it down to a science – he could sleep with his hands on the keyboard while sitting up.  Eventually his head would nod down, but it took some time.  It really was remarkable.

To top it off, he was promoted.  And later fired.

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I just listened to a sales candidate’s initial message in response to one of our ads. He described his experience by saying:

I’ve been in the _______ business for 20 years. Yada, yada, yada.

Funny on Seinfeld, painfully bad on an approach call.

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In case you haven’t noticed, senseless lawsuits absolutely push my buttons. So now this comes along – Woman sues Apple for $1M over iPhone price cut.

The gist of her complaint:

A New York woman is so angry at Apple Inc. for lopping $200 off the price of the iPhone that she’s filed a lawsuit seeking $1 million in damages.

Dongmei Li of Queens, N.Y., claimed the company violated price discrimination laws when it slashed the price of the 8-gigabyte iPhone by a third, from $599 to $399, within two months of the gadget’s June debut.

…

According to Li’s lawsuit, filed on Sept. 24 in the U.S. District Court, Eastern District of New York, the price reduction injured early purchasers like herself because they cannot resell the product for the same profit as those who bought the cell phone following the price cut.

Who resells cell phones? $1 million in damages over $200? Excuse me, but I have to go bang my head on the wall for a while.

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From the “this may only interest me” file – Yahoo offers Number of Lefties Bounces Back:

While lefties currently make up about 11 percent of the population, earlier studies found only 3 percent of those born in 1900 were left-handed.

…

“Left-handedness is important because more than 10 percent of people have their brains organized in a qualitatively different way to other people,” McManus said.

Half my family is left-handed so I am always keen to these articles.  And I can confirm that left-handers have a completely different way of thinking.  I often tease my left-handed wife that she has laid out a left-handed kitchen since I often get confused about where utensils, pans, etc. are located.

Her response involves my right-handed lack of memory ability.

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I’m a big fan of online purchases mainly because I can get exactly what I want, click to order and forget about it.  I’m not a big tracking guy either – I pick the slowest, cheapest method for shipping and the stuff usually arrives within 1 week.  Fire and forget.

Now Inc.com offers up Ever Wish You Could Read Your Customers’ Minds?  Get a load of this new software:

Proclivity is a consumer predictive engine technology that is able to analyze a customer’s online activity and identify their interest in certain types of merchandise.

…

For example, if an online clothing retailer wants to launch a campaign around jeans, Proclivity will quickly generate a list of customers based on the analyzed data that predicts how many customers would buy jeans and how much money the company would make in a given amount of time. The company can then decide how much to invest in certain campaigns.

I may be in the minority here, but I don’t mind if they track my visit.  I personally enjoy having items of interest to me appearing on the site.

This would be an interesting tool if it could be used by B2B companies too.

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